Commitment 

Commitment—

• A ten letter word describing a devotion to a purpose and the promise to stay •

In terms of dating: dedication to a person of interest filled with fidelity, support and trust.

To some, a committed relationship may seem like a comforting thing. It’s a stagnant lifestyle for the time being, and a sense of strong stability. It’s the assurance of emotional encouragement. It’s knowing there is someone who values your happiness, and seeks to contribute to it. It’s the relief of a constant cuddle buddy, date goer, and friend.

To me, a commitment seems like a terrifying obligation; a dead end; the conclusion of growth. This age is the prime time for experimenting. How can you discover the qualities you like or dislike in a person when you’re stuck with the same partner? We’re way too young to be settling down in such a declared way.

I’d definitely admit that my lack of luck in the romance world has contributed to my fear of committing. How many times can a girl puncture her heart before she no longer believes in love? I’ve put myself out there too many times only to be left feeling disappointed and empty. I’ve lost count of the short-lived guys I’ve pursued this year who so easily discontinued whatever it was that we had. Moving on became my new habit. So did rejecting the seemingly well-intentioned men. My heartbroken self turned heartless. This strategy took effect to prevent further heartbreak down the road. But as much as I claim I won’t fall for the next guy to enter my life, my feelings override my mindset every damn time. My commitment phobia grows stronger with every temporary guy.

Through all of my flings the past couple of years I’ve learned a vast amount about myself and others. There are moments where I deeply wish I had one constant guy by my side– there to make my days a little brighter and my heart a little fuller. And sometimes I do get envious of those who have that solid rock to lean on. But I’ve realized that commitment is not for everyone. Not everyone is ready to settle down. Not everyone has found one worthy of settling down with. I applaud the couples who have, and additionally admire the people who have not. Both take a lot of strength. At the end of the day it’s about what you’re comfortable with.

I may get attached too easily and abandoned too frequently, but the lessons I’ve learned along the way have been incredible. Evasiveness isn’t so bad after all. I’ve had the opportunity to get to know so many different personalities. This is exciting to a person who is constantly craving change. Aside from enjoying the perks of the single life, I hope one day to fall head over heels in love with the right person and find satisfaction in being tied down. For now, I’ll embrace this time of my life and keep reminding myself that a lack of commitment is not a bad thing at all. It is a symbol of independence, freedom and exploration.

“Maybe some women aren’t meant to be tamed. Maybe they need to run free until they find someone just as wild to run with them.”

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